Rubbish crappy stuff

I feel a bit 'meh' today.

Some colleagues and I were just talking about the state of work and how its boring and repetitive and how we want a change but don't know what we want or how to get it, and we have all left feeling really shitty.

Well I haven't left yet because I never leave work until well after 6 but I still feel shitty.

I just feel like things can't get better. I hate the government in this country and the decisions they make, and the lack of care they seem to have for anyone that has to live here. I hate that I work hard for my crappy salary just to pay it out for gas (still $10 a gallon), food (I REALLY need to grow my own food) and well, thats all I can afford really. I buy fiber and yarn and such but not regularly. I never buy new clothes these days and live mostly on beans and lentils and I do 90% of my weekly shop on the death shelf at the supermarket (Thats the shelf with all the stuff thats supposedly gone off, although thats only if you believe in best before dates).

And ugh, I am eating way too much lately too. This last week (my monthly) I have pigged out of whatever I could find and I think I have put about 6lb on. Not ideal as I am trying to lose about 30lb this year. But there lies another problem - if I go down a dress size, I won't have any clothes that fit and I can't afford to buy new ones.

In an ideal world I would knit, spin, grow vegetables and bake, and I would make money from it.

My plan for the short term is to stick out work (mainly for the 41 days annual leave). We are merging this year so opportunities may come. When I go to my mums house next I plan to bring back my jewellery stuff and start making more things. Has everyone who reads my blog seen my website? I believe its up to date if anyone is interested in anything.

I also bought www.spun-out.co.uk earlier this year and so hopefully I will be able to sort something out there when I have enough yarn spun to sell.

Tonight I think I will dye my merino/silk fibre with the food colouring and lemon juice that I bought yesterday (Lemon juice was cheaper than vinegar and the dyes were about 20p each). I will make food consisting of leftovers, and I might soak some borlotti and butter beans to have later this week.